Here I am again, in the dark. I thought I’d been through this already. I thought I made it out of the dark. I thought I learned this lesson. But, there’s more to learn. The darkness has returned. In Jan Richardson’s book Circle of Grace, I’m reading and rereading her blessings for Lent. This selection… Continue reading Again
Category: grief
Unfocused
I’m struggling to focus my thinking enough to write something coherent today. I could ignore my goal of writing every day during Lent. I did say I wouldn’t write if I had nothing to say. And, I’ve already missed one day, so what will it hurt to miss another? I don’t want to write today… Continue reading Unfocused
Twins
I always wanted to have twins. I figured I could just have one pregnancy, have two children and be done. My grandma had two sets of fraternal twins (back-to-back!) so it wasn’t out of the realm of possibilities for me to have twins. I’ve had to let that dream die with many others, though. The… Continue reading Twins
Retreat
I imagine that for many people, when they hear the word “retreat” they think of relaxing in a quiet space for reflection. I think of that too. But the reality of “retreat” for me is work – very little relaxing, even less quiet space and, if I’m lucky, some reflection. Why? Because when I go… Continue reading Retreat
Guests
In preparation for Transfiguration Sunday I’ve been reading two of Jan Richardson’s poems this week. I appreciate how multiple readings leads me to see new things each time. In her poem “Dazzling” I saw this today: The unforgettable light you have carried all this way Initially I thought: I’m sure I’ve got that. There is… Continue reading Guests
Control
For the majority of my life, I’ve lived under the illusion that I have control. Control of myself, others, situations, plans – life, in general. I kept everything in line by maintaining very well outlined to-do lists. If I put everything I needed to accomplish on the list then I felt a little more in… Continue reading Control
Broken
I finished Ann Voskamp’s book, The Broken Way, the other night. I think I read most of the last few pages – I may have missed a few words because my eyes were full of tears and sobs kept causing me to cover my face with my hands. Let me rewind a bit… It took… Continue reading Broken
Journal
At the start of my sabbatical last fall, we went to Boston with two of our friends. When we arrived, they pulled out a gift bag for me. I didn’t realize there was such a thing as a sabbatical present! Apparently, Meg was the only one aware of it, because aside from the gift of… Continue reading Journal
A’s Quilt
Several years ago I met an upbeat, hard-laughing, intelligent woman in seminary. I had no idea then that our lives would connect in such powerful ways just a few years later. Toward the end of graduation, several of my classmates and I were chosen to be part of a cohort that would help bridge the… Continue reading A’s Quilt
Blind
I had an appointment with the optometrist today. After a test or two the technician asked me to take my contacts out then told me to sit in the third chair. I’ve mentioned this in past appointments but I don’t understand why, at the optometrist’s office, in a dimly lit room the color of the… Continue reading Blind