Yesterday, after I received communion and returned to the pew, I started praying: I trust you, but I’m still sad. Over and over I prayed: I trust you, but I’m still sad. Then I realized that’s not what I meant. You know when people say things like, I love you, but… or Good job, but…… Continue reading And
Category: suffering
Mine
The last two Saturdays have been hard for me. Maybe the combination of going back to work, family gatherings, Christmas cheer, winter darkness and general sadness about life right now have got me down…well, okay, that’s a lot. Now I’m starting to understand the need for regular emotional release… It is human nature to make… Continue reading Mine
Opinions
I don’t know why but sometimes making a decision is really hard for me. Often I think it’s because I don’t have a strong opinion in any direction. But, sometimes, it’s because making a decision means I have to face something I don’t want to face. I got married for the first time when I… Continue reading Opinions
Heart
I know being outside breathing in fresh air, feeling the sun on my face and moving my feet at whatever pace feels right is all good for me. However, ever since I ditched the ear buds on my walks, my thoughts are much more intrusive than I’d prefer. Many times I end up crying while… Continue reading Heart
Open Wound
When I’m in a crowd of people I don’t know, it’s easy to feel okay. I’m not seeing myself reflected in their eyes. I don’t recall times of joy or pain shared with these people. In some ways I’m invisible and that makes my pain feel less intense. However, when I’m with one person I… Continue reading Open Wound
List
When I decided I wanted to blog during my sabbatical, being the planner that I am, I made a long list of all the different topics I might chose to write about. From quilting to spirituality to daily activities – I created a long list of possible topics. At first I stuck to the list… Continue reading List
The Cross
I wrote a very long paper for Systematic Theology several years ago about my views on the cross and Jesus’ relationship to it. I’m not going in that direction here. That paper, while it did convey my beliefs, came from my head – my brain, a place of logic and rationale. This writing about the… Continue reading The Cross