2017, boundaries, expectations, lent, plans, rest, vacation


I’m a rule follower. It makes me uneasy to break rules. Even if it’s not a “rule” – if it’s strongly suggested, I follow that too. So, when Brad got me a FitBit a few years ago at Christmas, I knew what I had to do. 10,000 steps a day. I wanted to feel the buzz of the goal accomplished. I wanted to see the app show my completed steps for the day. If I was close to the goal, I’d stand next to the bed and jog in place in order to reach 10,000 before I went to sleep. Sometimes I’d go up and down the stairs randomly in the middle of watching a show just so I’d get the number of flights required in a day.

It got a little out of control.

As we prepared for our honeymoon the following May, I opted to leave the FitBit behind. Even though we probably would walk a lot, I didn’t want the lingering “need” to get all my steps in get in the way of relaxing and enjoying the moment. I hated knowing my average would go down. I hated knowing my name would sink to the bottom of my friend list. But, I also knew myself, and if I took it with me, it would get in the way of our trip.

I’m not quite as addicted to those 10,000 steps as I used to be. I like to reach that goal every day, but I don’t worry about it when it doesn’t happen. It wasn’t as hard to leave the FitBit at home this time. I knew the break would be good for me.

It turns out I’m taking some other breaks too – ones I didn’t intend on.

I packed my running shoes. I knew they had a small gym and I imagined myself running a few miles on the treadmill every other day or so. I’m training for a half-marathon, so I figured it would be good to get in a few runs while we were gone. I did get those shoes out of my suitcase. But, only because they were on top. I haven’t touched them since I took them out on Monday.

At the start of Lent I said I would blog every day – that’s 40 blogs in 40 days. Last week, before we left, I was loosing steam. I was running out of things to write about – or at least topics that I felt comfortable writing about at this time. Before we left I imagined myself sitting on the balcony every morning writing a blog every morning. We’ve been gone 5 days now and this is my second blog.

It’s hard for me to take a break. I feel like if I take a break then I won’t go back to it. If I break from my blog writing my blog will be over. If I break from the half-marathon training plan then I’ll never run again. If I break from my FitBit I’ll never walk again. Clearly that makes a lot of sense…

I’ll get back to my steps next week. I’ll run and I’ll write more often. None of them will go away. When I get back into my routine, they will all return naturally, like nothing even happened.

It’s good to take a break now and then. It’s good to be reminded to rest. It’s okay to set the “rules” aside and just follow the natural flow of the day without any devices or plans or expectations to lead me.



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