I’m currently in the middle of reading Liz Gilbert’s book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. I appreciate that she writes in short bursts – I can read a bit and let that section soak in awhile before reading the next. A couple days ago I read a section she entitled “Motives.”
I started thinking more about why I write this blog. I knew this already but I think I need to name it here – this isn’t for you. I don’t think about you much when I write. (Obviously, I think about you some because otherwise how would I even think to address you here this morning!) Because this is a public forum, I do have to censor myself a bit – I can’t say all the things I want to say. Some ideas are private and not ready for the world to hear yet. Some thoughts aren’t mine to tell. Some words haven’t made themselves clear yet – so I’ll wait for them to come.
However, whatever it is I write here – it’s not for you. This is all for me. My motive in writing this blog is purely selfish, as it should be. I have my handwritten journal where I can write anything and everything without any censorship. Many times those beginning thoughts stir up more in me that I want to flesh out a bit more. Those thoughts often end up here.
There’s something cathartic for me in this writing. I know there’s a chance someone might read it, but I also know it could be hanging out in the interwebs all alone, and that’s okay too. Because from the beginning, I didn’t write any of this for more likes or followers or shares. I write because I enjoy writing. I write because it helps me sort things out a bit more. I write because it provides me some discipline. I write because I enjoy my creativity. I write because there’s just too much going on in my head and if I don’t get it out in a physical way I might get lost.
I have no intentions for this blog other than to be filled with my writing. There’s no future of a book or of thousands of followers. My motive is pure and simple – to write for me.
“It’s okay if your work is fun for you, is what I’m saying. It’s okay if your work is healing for you, or fascinating for you, or redemptive for you, or if it’s just a hobby that keeps you from going crazy. It’s even okay if your work is totally frivolous. That’s allowed. It’s all allowed (100-101).”
So, anything that comes from this blog that isn’t about me – well, that’s all bonus! If you connect with what I write, if you appreciate my style or want to read more – that’s amazing. It’s not what I intended or expected, but I’m grateful you’ve joined me on the journey. What you take from my writing is yours – not mine. If you’re offended – that’s perfectly acceptable. But remember, that’s yours – not mine.
I’m grateful I took the risk in starting this blog over 6 months ago. I’m grateful for the clarity it’s offered me. I’m grateful for the safe space to rend my heart. I’m grateful for the opportunity to explore and experiment and play. Most of all, I’m grateful to have done something purely for me, with no strings attached. I think that’s something I’m going to try more often.