creativity, present, trust

I Know How You Feel, Buddy

He can’t get settled. Any time I reposition myself in my chair, he gets up. If I have to go to the bathroom, he gets up. When I start talking to someone on Zoom, he gets up. I know how you feel, buddy — I’m out of sorts too.

I know how you feel buddy
At the base of my chair

Yesterday I went to the grocery store over my “lunch break.” I felt like I was in some alternate reality. There were no tomatoes, no blueberries, no potatoes. But, if you need any onions, let me know. We have a five pound bag… I only needed one onion! 

I felt like everyone was walking around the store in a daze. I’ve never seen the shelves so empty. I thought the shelves would be restocked after the craziness of last week. I was wrong.

It would be really easy for me to go to a dark place right now. I was close to it in the grocery store. But that’s not the choice I want to make. I still have choices here — I can decide how I want to respond. Digging a deep hole and living there for the next however long is not the choice I want to make. 

So what choices am I making? Glad you asked!

I’m following along with Lindsay Fischer’s #coronaselfcarechallenge on Instagram. So far this week I have something inspiring on my phone’s lock screen, cleaned something I don’t usually clean, cleared my chakras and colored. This challenge is something to look forward to each day. She has a google calendar with the 30 days planned out, but for once, I don’t want to know what’s coming. I’m appreciating being in the moment. Go figure. 

lotus

I’m sewing, which helps my creative side as well as my desire to be productive. I finished and shipped off a quilt to my cousin’s daughter. She’s having a hard time being away from her friends. Maybe this quilt will be comforting to her. 

t-shirt quilt
i know how you feel buddy

Every day I send a note in the mail to someone. So far it’s a combination of people I’ve met in person and friends from Instagram. I’ve been tempted to write several cards in one day because I know lots of people could use encouragement right now. However, I’m trusting that the notes will arrive on time and being patient with one a day.

Emily McDowell cards are the best!

I’m walking three times a day. Normally, even if I don’t go for a run or walk with the dog, I at least walk from to and from the parking lot at work. The commute is much shorter from my bedroom to my desk, so I’ve set reminders on my phone to tell me to walk: 7:45 am, 11:45 am and 4:00 pm. It helps to get fresh air, move my body and be reminded that creation keeps moving forward even when I feel like we’re stuck in a day that won’t ever end. 

on a walk
i know how you feel buddy

I’m on Zoom quite a bit. I did my first virtual yoga class and I have lunch with my coworkers most days. I met with my breathwork teacher and other students from around the country for a healing breathwork session. I’m eating food we cook at home and drinking water regularly. 

I know how you feel, buddy

How could I have known what an important word “trust” would be this year? How could I have known that focusing on “trusting the present” would be a good theme for this month? And yet, here I am — doing my best to trust the Divine order, trust the moment I’m living. 

I know how you feel, buddy. I’m disoriented too. I’m unsure where to go next and getting antsy without a routine. It’s not what we planned but we’re in this together… so together we’ll figure it out. 

On Wednesday Beth helped me reorient myself in the midst of this chaos and uncertainty… instead of succumbing to the feeling of scarcity and fear, I can use this as an opportunity to practice discernment. Instead of feeling like I can’t take this anymore, I can ask myself, “so what can you give?”

I told the Universe I wanted to practice trusting in 2020. Here is my opportunity to practice… one walk, one note, one deep breath at a time.

peace.

I know how you feel buddy

P.S. If you want a note, send me your name and address. 

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