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Thanks for all the encouragement during annual conference this week! I did not get elected to be a delegate to General Conference. And, after a few votes for Jurisdictional Conference, it was clear that I wasn’t getting enough votes, and was taking some away from those likely to get voted in, so I requested my name be removed from the ballot. It was an interesting few days. I’m completely exhausted. I didn’t have a vote; in fact, I just sat there listening most of the time. I got to see many friends and enjoyed catching up with those I haven’t seen in awhile. So, physically it wasn’t that taxing. However, as one who easily takes on the emotions of those around me, being in an emotionally charged space with over 1,000 people for 3 days drained me. On top of that, there were some late nights and early mornings, so my sleep schedule was off. The Room for All coalition made some wonderful strides, especially with the clergy elections. We learned that there’s still a lot of work to do among the laity. I didn’t get voted in and that’s okay. I still have work to do. I made new connections. I had pleasant conversations with people who I know disagree with me. I listened to them and they listened to me. I’d say that’s good progress. Thanks again for your support and encouragement! Photos: my mom, my dad, the meet & greet, lunch with Shalimar, my camp friend Brian, Mary and Adriane, mom managing the election process #inumc19 #inumc #umc #roomforall #nowisleep

I haven’t done the research to back this up, but I suspect the reason we’re often “hush hush” about women’s health is because a long time ago (and probably still today?) men were uncomfortable talking about it so it became taboo. Well, the taboo has been lifted and I’ve written about my experience with my period — maybe for the first time, I’m not sure. If you’re squeamish about bodily functions, this isn’t for you. If sentences like that one intrigue you, read on! New blog post. Follow the link in my profile to [Latest Blogs] #infertility #childlessnotbychoice #period #menstruation #womenshealth #prematureovarianfailure

I’ve been part of the United Methodist church since I was born. Both my parents are retired UMC pastors. I was a UMC youth minister for 13 years. I love that John Wesley wasn’t out to start a new church, just to make his better. Kinda like what Jesus was after. I’m hurt and disappointed by the vote that took place in February. I don’t think the mission of the Church is to penalize and exclude. I think the Church is about welcoming and love and adding more chairs around the table. Earlier this year I decided to take a more active step as a lay member, so I submitted by Willingness to Serve form, which means, I’m willing to be a delegate for my annual conference at General Conference 2020. I don’t *want* to do this. If I’m voted in, this will be a lot of work and involve challenging conversations. But, if I can use my name, experience and theology to make the Church a more welcoming place, then that is what I’ll do. I’m trying to find ways of making meaning in my life in the midst of infertility and it feels like this is just one way I can do that. #umc #inumc #inumc19 #gcumc19 #infertility #childlessnotbychoice #planb @inumc #roomforall

Is it weird that I watch Call the Midwife? Maybe. It might be a little bit weird considering I still can’t make myself go to a baby shower. Yes, Call the Midwife is about midwives and pregnant mothers and births and babies. It’s also about compassion, history, relationships and good story telling. Unlike other TV shows, I know what to expect when I watch an episode of Call the Midwife. I know there will be a birth involved. I am not caught off guard by a pregnant character. The same can’t be said for a light-hearted comedy that seems to throw in a random, unexpected pregnancy out of nowhere. With Call the Midwife, I know what I’m getting. This show has the most beautiful characters that say the most kind, compassionate things. This is just one quote that I had to put down on paper. It’s true, isn’t it? Somehow, someway, beauty comes out of our grief. #callthemidwife #infertility #childlessnotbychoice #grief #healing

I was outside with my camera waiting for whatever needed to be seen. I looked over and saw my niece on her swing. Then, she noticed something. She got down from the swing and reached for it. She squatted down on the palette and reached out her hand. What she reached for? I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter what it was. Her curiosity, her exploration — that’s what mattered in this moment. The sun provided just the right light. The surrounding objects framed her body perfectly. And, somehow, I got to be there and witness this magical moment. I got to be the one to take this picture. I wonder how many moments like this I’ve missed because I forced something to be seen rather than waiting for it to appear? I wonder how many magical moments have taken place right in front of me but I was too busy to notice? #childlessnotbychoice #auntlife #infertility #thisisinfertility #canonrebelt6i

“I struggle with my brokenness. I don’t want to burden others. I don’t want to say over and over again, “I’m sad” and hear over and over again, “I’m sorry.” Because saying it and hearing it doesn’t seem to help. So, I don’t. I hide it — from others, and sometimes even, from myself.“ ✨ I’m grateful for others, like @annvoskamp, who are willing to be vulnerable about their brokenness, which helps me find ways to be vulnerable about mine. That’s the whole reason I’m taking on this book… to remind other infertile women they are not alone, that it is possible to live a good, full life in the midst of infertility. You can read this full post called “Broken” - link in bio. 👆🏼 #childlessnotbychoice #infertility #thisisinfertility #brokenness #planb #grief

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