Living in the Midst
What do you see when you look at a perfectly curated Instagram grid? What do you see when you scroll through Facebook day after day? I’ll tell you what I see… I see beautiful meals plated out ready for the family to eat. I see happy children celebrating birthdays or going to their first day… Continue reading What Do You See
It’s been a hard week. I’ve had to follow my own advice. I let myself feel what I needed to feel. I tried not to berate myself for realizing that something was harder than I thought it would be. I’m tired — mostly emotionally. On top of that cramps and a period. Can I start… Continue reading Scattered and Jumbled
Next week, September 16-22, is World Childless Week, founded by Stephanie Phillips. She invited writers to send in pieces based on specific themes. I submitted three essays and I believe one was selected, which will be posted on Monday — the theme for that day is Our Stories. The prompt for Tuesday is Letters from… Continue reading It’s Not Your Fault
I think I am nesting. I agree, it feels strange to me too. No, I’m not pregnant. No, I’m not adopting. No, I don’t have a surrogate. There is no plan of a baby coming to live at our house. But, I think I am nesting. It’s been going on for a few weeks, months… Continue reading I Think I Am Nesting
Twice in the last week I’ve decided to say no to say yes. To make room for something new and beautiful, I have to set some things aside — maybe temporarily, maybe forever. I’m not a car person. I was perfectly happy with my 2005 Oldsmobile Alero. I picked that car because it showed the… Continue reading Say No to Say Yes
I'll just jump right in a say it: I'm scared to write a book. But, let me back up and give you some context. I started working on my book in May using a three prong approach: voice, audience and book. I’ve explored my voice: what do I have to contribute, how is my contribution… Continue reading I’m Scared to Write a Book
I’m starting to run regularly with our one-year-old chocolate lab these days. We’re still working through it — my job is to let him know he’s not in charge. Unfortunately, I’m not always good at my job. The other day I noticed our shadow. He was in front, I was in back and there was… Continue reading We Get to Choose Our Own Speed
How do I live a good, full life in the midst of infertility? Two practices have really helped me in my healing:1. Staying present.2. Paying attention to ordinary things. Let me show you what I mean: I started listening to the RENT soundtrack over twenty years ago when my freshman year roommate introduced me to… Continue reading A Good, Full Life
I remember my dad turning forty. There was a bulletin board in the lower level of the church — it read, “Lordy, Lordy, our pastor’s forty!” I think there were some tombstones pinned up as well. I remember my mom turning forty too. We were in the community room at the church she was serving.… Continue reading Today I Turn Forty
I remember back when I was sad all the time, back when I first found out about my infertility. Even though I was devastated and in the throes of grief, every now and then I’d hear something or see something that would cause me to smile. At first it felt really weird and almost sacrilegious… Continue reading It’s Okay to Smile